Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
