Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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