Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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