i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
