Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
