Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I don't deserve a penis
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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