So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
