White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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