so explain again why im purple
no
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
