She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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