he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
