you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
