We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
