did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Someone shattered a urinal.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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