why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
