If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize