Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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