My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
