I molested 6 butterflies tonight
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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