And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
