Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
