my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
