like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i came on her dog
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
