i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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