I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
