you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
