I think im going to throw up on grandma
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
