from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
