shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
