I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
