I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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