So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
