i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
