Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
