Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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