I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
