I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
