:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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