a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
