Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
