I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
