you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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