Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
