Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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