I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
time to smoke my breakfast
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
