gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
