his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
