Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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