Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
