I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
