dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
