they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize