yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize