You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
