he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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