I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
