I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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