you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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