someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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