is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
