i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
